Breaking News: Your Athlete's Pace Will Break Them

If we as parents and coaches do not take responsibility to model and teach the pace of grace to our kids, our kids are headed for chronically impatient, anxiety-ridden, dissatisfied, stressful lives.

They will undoubtedly be crippled forever by the fear of falling behind, not measuring up, not being enough, and this ever-present feeling of doubt and anxiety will overtake them.

Ok, Andrew. What's with the bleak blog post?

My heart hurt after meeting with a 10th grader last week who is experiencing MANY of those things above...

We mapped out her entire weekly calendar and not only is it packed beyond anything I have ever seen, but the message that this type of schedule is sending this young lady is the real issue at hand. 

It reminds me exactly of the circumstances Maddy Holleran faced, a young lady who chose to end her own life in college.

Our Kids Need to See and Experience The Pace of Grace

• Do you want to achieve more? Do less.

• Do you want to feel strong? Admit your weakness.

• Do you want to be free from the fear of falling behind? Give something up and prove to yourself that you actually won't fall behind, but you will get ahead.

The madness of getting home at 11 pm from practice, spending all day Saturday and Sunday at tournaments year round, and never having time off (mentally and physically) WILL either end by your choice or you will be forced to end it. 

• A season or career ending injury is lurking

• Massive burnout is already in progress, even if you can't see it

• Self-harm or a suicide is possible, if you don't believe it you are being naive  

For those of us who think our kids current pace in sports is inconsequential and "no big deal", I am telling you that it IS to them. Have you asked them? Are you scared of their answer?

Their internal motors, mentally and emotionally, are GOING AND GOING AND GOING all day long. They are exhausted in far more ways than just one. "Gotta keep up, gotta achieve, gotta make them proud..."

Tangent: I meet with kids every week who deep down are not really meant to be pursuing college athletics. It's a bigger commitment than most realize. It may look good on signing day as other parents post about it non-stop and the world celebrates them for 5 minutes, but it's a LONG and arduous process. It's grueling and it won't bring what you or your kids are hoping it will bring. 

I love the pursuit and what it develops inside of a young person but man, it's not for everyone.

Anyway, this message is not about college sports, it's about parents and coaches addressing the condition of our own souls. It's about our constant striving for more- more recognition, more significance, more accolades to show off...this condition is rubbing off on our kids and they are not equipped to handle it (we don't do well at handling it either but we can mask it and "push through" for a while- and our kids are getting better at masking it too after watching us do it for so long)...

This is a big area of attention and growth for me personally right now.

I am beyond grateful that God has changed the desires of my heart and I no longer eat, sleep, and breath "growth, progress, get better, don't miss an opportunity." I am in the process of embracing the pace of grace and I am experiencing more peace, joy, and success as a bi-product, than ever before.

The pace of grace is available to ALL kids, parents, and coaches and it is FREEING.

It'll take some courageous decisions:

• Removing something from the calendar for your kids

• Deciding that you will model it by first addressing the unhealthy desires you have to see your kids get the scholarship (and paying attention to that little voice you had in your head when you saw all the signing day posts from other parents on social media and you felt an unhealthy strive or jealousy within you rise up)

And here is my PROMISE after helping many kids and parents make the bold decision to do LESS in sports:

• By choosing to let go of the fear (false evidence appearing real) of falling behind and not keeping up, you will actually achieve MORE and with better mental and emotional health along the way.

Dedicated to your success in sports and life,

Coach Andrew J Simpson

Are you the PARENT or COACH who wants to support your athlete MAXIMALLY without interfering or pushing them away from the game?

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